Delivering complaints about your partner in a manner that is nurturing of your partner’s ego, loving, responsible and effective.
Partner 1: Practice delivering a complaint to your partner following the recipe for complaining in the section Complaining Responsibly of Chapter 11: Tools for Effective Communication. Start with something relatively small, and over the nine weeks work your way up to the bigger complaints after you’ve had success with smaller ones.
Partner 2: Provide feedback to your partner. Did your partner use “I messages,” if appropriate? Did your partner make the communication easy for you to hear? Did your partner come from a loving place in delivering the communication?
Repeat the process with the same complaint until Partner 1 can deliver the complaint in a way that is effective and loving for Partner 2.
Switch roles; have Partner 2 communicate a complaint and Partner 1 provide feedback.
Once a week for nine weeks, or at least nine times in three months.