Taking responsibility for your part of the degree of upset you are experiencing with your partner, realizing that much of your energy about this is related to past events which have nothing to do with your partner.
Partner 1: Communicate a recurring upset you’ve had with your partner and clearly distinguish the energy from the past that you bring to the upset. This is not about you communicating your upset to your partner. This is about you fully getting in touch with the past event or events that have you so charged about the upset, and taking responsibility for your energy.
Partner 2: Support your partner in experiencing the past event or events. Acknowledge your partner for being vulnerable and responsible.
Switch roles and repeat.
Once a week for nine weeks, or at least nine times in three months.