I urge you to read this remarkable lecture Importance of Experiencing All Feelings from a highly revered, deeply spiritual and psychological teacher. It speaks to where many people find themselves, upset and paralyzed by fear. It’s a little dense, so you have to force yourself to read it slowly. But it is dead on.
In the conclusion, the author says the following, and my experience has shown it to be valid:
All the many temptations that beckon you to follow paths which imply that it is possible to find the spiritual reality of yourself without going through these gateways are wishful thinking. There is no way around what has accumulated in you and has poisoned your whole system — your spiritual, your psychological, and often also your physical system. This poison can be eliminated only by feeling what you hoped you could avoid feeling.
To summarize and simplify:
- Take any emotion – one that you think you’re feeling (usually
it’s fear, could be frustration, anger, etc.).
- Under that is the fear of that emotion.
- Under that is shame (we counteract shame with pride).
- Under that is inadequacy (as every child feels that they are the
cause of whatever is happening in their world – as in: whatever is
happening is because “I’m inadequate”).
- Under that is the thing you really need to get to – which is “the brokenhearted child” (the bottom line is that the child is bereft, alone and shattered).
- Then you can get to your true “light,” your true beauty of what you really are.
- With that comes a release of stagnation, energy, and a sense of peace and well being.
- Take anything you’re experiencing and write and write about it (journal) and meditate on it.
- Start at the top layer. (You could have pages on each layer.)
- Get to the brokenheartedness.
- On the other side of that is relief and energy.
P.S. You cannot do this alone.