The Argument that Just Won’t Die


  1. I find that many couples have a long-standing but often un-verbalized argument about sex, with the person who has the least interest usually winning. Which means, of course, that both lose. Of course sex is not the answer (“Sex is the Question. YES is the answer!”) Underneath much of the ‘not being heard, not having needs met” kind of struggle that couples deal with, is often an undercurrent of longing for meaningful and intimate connection. It is easier to negotiate and compromise in areas where preferences differ when the relationship is deeply nourished with frequent and heartfelt lovemaking.

  2. Diana – I love that – “sex is the question; yes is the answer.” And I agree completely – when my emotional bank account is full, and sex (with intimacy) is happening, I can be pretty darn accommodating! 🙂

  3. Bill, I can’t take credit for the quote,
    “Sex is NOT the answer.
    Sex is the question.
    YES is the answer.”

    I saw it on a T-shirt and quoted it in my book, as by “Anonymous.” Maybe the original author will now identify herself! Or maybe it’s the kind of true sentiment that various people have come up with at different times.

    And yes, it’s sure easier to choose being happy over being right when our emotional bank accounts are full and our sex life is intimate and fulfilling.

Comments are closed.