When a Day Feels Too Long

Really, the trick is “having.”  Having what you have.  Choosing what you have.  Allowing yourself to be present to what you have.  Being grateful.

Sometimes the thing we want so much is right in front of us, if we’re willing to let ourselves just have it. I think a lot of us struggle with this.  I wrote the following for my partner, JoAnn, in the wake of such a struggle.

When a day feels too long
When people aren’t much fun
You drive home in the waning light
Looking for a nowhere moon
On a gray dismal day

With your knees aching
Feeling somewhat colder than before
Warding off today’s headache
With yet another Anacin
As you squeeze the car
For the millionth time
Into your narrow garage

And dragging too many
Bags of clothes, food, makeup
Open your door
To cold, darkened rooms
And you climb the stairs
To take off your face
And, for whatever reason
Take a cold, hard, maybe
Too close look at yourself
And think God
Am I’m getting old

And when you move
Slightly out of the way
Of your own reflection
And see me standing behind you
Smiling
You think to yourself
Maybe just once in my life
I could let myself have
The one thing I’ve
Always said I’ve wanted.

And when I look at
You in the mirror
I see so much more
Than a beautiful woman
I see a brilliant, gifted
Giving soul who can
Meet me where I live

And it makes me think
Maybe just once in my life
I could have for myself
The one thing I’ve
Always said I’ve wanted.